Don’t reward your abuser

Do we tell battered women to negotiate with their abusers? To plead with them to reform? To beg the abuser to take them back? Of course not.Instead, every expert tells them to leave and to run away—fast.The odds that an abuser will reform are low. If he does, wonderful, and only then might the victim consider returning to an entirely new relationship between respectful equals. It’s not the victim’s job to implore or cajole the abuser to get help.Yet when it comes to Jews, we do the opposite. We plead with our abusers to stop abusing us. We ask them to tolerate us. We try to persuade. We pander.This is ridiculous, dysfunctional and empowering to our abusers.The better answer is no different than in the case of any other abuser: to vote with our feet. Leave. Flee. Good riddance. Don’t look back.That is, in fact, what American Jews did—by necessity—more…
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The article argues that Jews should not negotiate with institutions exhibiting antisemitism, likening it to a victim negotiating with an abuser. Instead, it advocates for Jews to "vote with their feet" and create their own spaces, as they did historically when faced with discrimination in clubs, universities, and hospitals, leading to the establishment of institutions like Brandeis University and Jewish hospitals. The author criticizes the current approach of Jewish groups begging institutions like Harvard University to address antisemitism, especially after Harvard Magazine referred to "the pretext of antisemitism" in its coverage of a legal battle. The article highlights alleged antisemitic incidents at Harvard following the October 7, 2023 attacks, including student groups blaming Israel, harassment of Jewish students, and a significant drop in Jewish enrollment. It concludes by urging Jews to reject such "abusers" and embrace institutions committed to ethical education, rather than seeking acceptance from those that have rejected them.
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