‘I wouldn’t wish this on any mother’: raising a child with borderline personality disorder

Ilana, a divorced mother from central Israel, recounts the immense challenges of raising her daughter, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. After years of crises, including self-harm, threats, and destructive behavior that impacted the entire family, Ilana made the difficult decision to call the police when her 21-year-old daughter, drunk and begging, was outside their home. This event marked the end of their relationship, leading to nearly a year of estrangement.

• Ilana describes her daughter's behavior, which began around age 11, as an "intense need for attention" that escalated into "constant chaos, insults, threats, enormous jealousy" within the home.
• The family's life was consumed by managing her daughter's emotional storms, leading to her placement in therapeutic residential schools from age 15.
• Later, her daughter engaged in risky sexual behavior and frequently sent Ilana videos of self-harm to manipulate her. Ilana states, "I wouldn’t wish this situation on any mother."
• Despite the quiet the separation has brought, Ilana grapples with guilt and the lingering hope for reconciliation, acknowledging the difficulty of setting boundaries in such a close relationship.