Yom Kippur 2026: Does a text message or social media post count as a real apology?

As Yom Kippur approaches, the question of how to properly ask for forgiveness (mehila) in the digital age is debated by Jewish educators and tech experts. Rabbi Zev M. Shandalov emphasizes that God does not forgive on one's behalf, stating, “We have to go to that person and ask for forgiveness with a heartfelt 'I'm sorry.'” He, along with tech columnist Hillel Fuld, advocates for face-to-face apologies as the most authentic method, citing Maimonides. Fuld adds, “sending a text message just doesn't feel authentic.”

• While direct interaction is preferred, video calls or phone calls are acceptable alternatives, with voice notes being better than generic text messages due to vocal inflection.
• Lecturer Oriya Mevorach suggests that the issue isn't the medium itself, but the sincerity and specificity of the apology. Mass social media apologies are often perceived as insincere “checklist items.”
• An effective digital apology should acknowledge the specific wrongdoing and its impact on the offended party. Mevorach even suggests using AI tools to help craft personalized messages.
• Jewish tradition allows for rejecting an apology twice, but by the third time, forgiveness is expected. An apology can even be made to a deceased person at their grave.

Fuld shared a personal anecdote about apologizing to a journalist he had offended online, highlighting the profound importance of making amends while the person is still alive. Granting forgiveness is described as a “godly act” that repairs relationships.